The Myth of "Balance"
22 Feb
I once had a conversation with a wise woman (Lynn of Celebrate Green) about the myth of "balance" in life. I spoke to her about how everything in my life felt out of balance - - freelance projects on top of a full-time job with a 45 min commute each direction, the desire to take things to the next level, nurturing my still young marriage and being the mama I wanted to be. Oh, and myself - don't forget taking care of myself. At the time we were trading services - her Life Coaching wisdom and my web skills for Green Halloween - and she asked me to draw a circle and break it into sections representing the pieces of my life.
It was way out of wack - too much work, too little marriage and family and a tiny sliver of time to myself. I was, at the time, sitting crosslegged on the floor of my walk-in closet on the cordless phone - the only away to get away from the tiny girl who cried every time I left the room despite having a wonderful Papa right by her - and I cried. I cried, staring down at that scribbled, out of wack circle that didn't represent at all how I wanted life to be and couldn't figure out how I was going to reshuffle everything to make it better.
Lynn then talked about what "balance" meant. She described a tightrope walker at the circus - precariously perched on a tightrope, high above everything else, wobbling her way across the tent.
That isn't the type of balance that's good for us but I think it is what so many of us face as parents - especially mothers.
I don't want to be a tightrope walker wobbling my way through life. I'd much rather have "balance" be less precarious. I want to enjoy things more - not rush from one thing to another.
Maybe circus juggler is more appropriate? A bunch of balls in the air but the ability to let them drop and adjust as needed. I guess the problem is that some of the balls feel like giant medicine balls and others feel feathery light so juggling them all at once can be so awkward sometimes. Maybe what it comes down to is that my ball weight scale needs adjusting. How do I make family feel like it should be the #1 thing on my list when work overshadows it so much at times?
Good post! What does your desired balance circle look like? That gives you something to shoot for right? Also, does that represent how much time you spend on each pie piece? This would be a good exercise to redo every 3 months or so...
A quarterly balance assessment? Not a bad idea.
I gotta say, I wish someone would prescribe a balance circle. Kind of like the charts you see when you go to buy a house...your housing costs should be x% of your income, etc.
That'd be handy!